Made with Xara A SOL News Incantation Take to a motorway and what do you find? Ignorance and totally apathy. Most of our beloved M roads are three lanes wide yet so many of our motorists use one. The middle lane always attracts complete idiots stuck in a middle world, unable to go in or out, hypnotized by the symmetrical righteous path of middleness. How do they ever get off the motorway? Once, travelling North on the M40 at 2am, I only encountered a dozen or so cars for 90 miles yet not one of them could get out of the middle lane. Seemingly transfixed, no other road users for miles and there they were, steadfastly stuck in the middle lane, ignorant of the perfectly good and empty inside lane; itself bereft of any traffic. Why? What is wrong with using the inside lane? Even when the motorway is full surely it makes sense to drive in the lanes as they were designed and only leave the inside if you are overtaking something? Don't just sit in the middle lane you ignorant morons; free up the motorway so those of us who want to can progress. And we have the outside lane drivers, the motorway bullies in their fat, fast cars; unable to see anything other their own world as top dog. What a bunch of tossers. Haven't you noticed the outside lane is for overtaking? Some of you arseholes sit there oblivious of whether there is space on the inside or not. A poor unfortunate may need to venture out to the outside lane and what happens? The outside lane kings drive on, oblivious of others needs, hell bent on being fuehrer of the fast lane. And, even if the outside lane gets dragged to a halt because the lesser mortals in their plebeian vehicles might be forced to overtake by one of the middle lane hoggers or, oh please no, an articulated lorry overtaking another articulated lorry, the outside lane drivers will not budge. Come on, take a look across the whole road and wonder at the mysteries of driving in a manner as befits the design purpose of motorways. As mentioned before, those Knights of the Road, the articulated lorry driver: Generally courteous to others and more often than most, aware of their surroundings. But why this penchant for overtaking another of your highway brethren when they are only doing 1 mph (>2 kph) below your speed? Don't you realise how frustrating it is to come up behind a pair of duelling trucks, one determined to overtake the other? Infuriatingly this process can take tens of minutes to complete while all the time we are forced to watch the ensuing battle from behind, boxed in by the middle hoggers and the fast lane kings! And this practice is not restricted to Motorways; it spreads onto the Dual-carriageways. Imagine yourself stuck behind a pair of battling barges for the next 30 minutes and try not reacting. Away from the motorways our lives are riddled with a plethora of motorized faux-pas. What is it with the drivers on British Roads?! Either in too much of a hurry, too bloody slow, but otherwise totally oblivious of their surroundings and other road users.